Non-Prescription Supply Program As of Monday, August 17 – ACT 1 has launched its non-prescription diabetes supplies program – check out the details and how you can participate here!
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This was Elvis shortly after we got him, when he was only a few months old. He was a mushy, very loving little guy. He was the type that let you hold him for a while and enjoyed snuggling with you. He was playful but never mean, ever. Whenever him and his brother Linkin would fight, he would always be the one to hiss saying “Enough”! Boy did he love his treats. As soon as the sound of some kind of food was heard in the kitchen, there he was looking up at you waiting for some for him.
After a few weeks of not being well and more recently being diagnosed with untreatable cancer, he was put to sleep this past weekend. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. To think that he wasn’t just a pet but part of the “family” that Joe and I share together. This was him a few days ago, sleeping in my arms. The way he spent a lot of his last days.
And having such an emotional day on Saturday, my blood sugars were a mess. Grief not only affects your heart and your mind, it also affects your blood sugar. Go figure.
R.I.P. Elvis —- we are going to miss you so very much 
Last night I had a very vivid, very beautiful dream. I dreamt that I was at the doctor’s office with Greg and we were waiting on test results. We seemed very nervous and very tense. We sat in the waiting room talking about what we would do first if “it” was true. Finally my Endo came out and called us into his office. He said he was very excited to tell us that my blood was “normal” and all the “Bugs and Creepy Crawlies” were gone.
Greg and I jumped up and hugged, then we hugged my doctor and his secretary and whooped and hollered with excitement. My doctor than explained that we needed to realize that while I was normal I would now have to learn all over again what being a Diabetic meant and relearn how to care for myself.
I woke up confused about the dream and whether it was a dream at all. That happens to me quite often. I wake up and can’t recall if my dream was indeed a dream or a memory from yesterday. I knew it was not a memory as I recalled the odd terms my doctor and I used. Calling me “normal” and telling me my “Bugs” were gone, just didn’t jibe with reality as I know it.
After some careful thought I realized the dream was about my situation righting itself. The “Bugs and Creepy Crawlies” were the Antibodies and the Gastroparesis. My excitement was the idea I could live a normal diabetic life from now. Mind you, I know there is nothing “normal” about Diabetes. Still, my life with this disease is very abnormal and very hard to handle.
I thought about the end of the dream, realizing how much truth it held. If the antibodies and GP were to go away or be cured, I would have to relearn life as a Diabetic. Because of these two complications I do not live like most Diabetics. I cannot take insulin before I eat, or if I do it’s very rare and it’s never a full estimated dose. I do not wait two hours to after meals before I test. I cannot just take a correction bolus when my sugar is high. I can’t sleep a whole night without waking to test. I cannot always stop eating when I am full. I cannot always sleep when I am tired. I can not rely on an A1c to tell me how I am doing at caring for myself. I do not live like other Diabetics because my body is not like other Diabetic’s bodies. There is no how to instructions or informational pamphlet for my problems.
Will I go back to being like other Diabetics one day? Will I get nervous about an A1c test ever again? Will I be able to follow the 15/15 rule? Will I not have to explain my complications to others while they stare at me like I am nuts? Dare I dream? Yeah, I think I will. Hope never hurt nobody 
I admit, I am a huge technology gadget junkie. As soon as something new or updated comes out I want it. And more often than not, I get it. I have my personal blackberry that I don’t know what I’d do without – it lets me stay in touch with not only my twitter friends or diabetes blogs but also my other friends and family too. There are not enough hours in the day for me to get on my computer at home very often so with this, I can still keep up with everything. Or try to at least! Then there’s my work blackberry. I was given that so that I could manage my team even when out of the office. This means I’m “available” for work 24/7. Not my ideal situation but so be it. And my iPod. How could anyone live without an iPod these days? Whether it’s playing on my speaker systems at home, listening during my commute to and from work or helping me get through a workout at the gym, it’s my main outlet to music.
Let’s add diabetes to the mix. And I’ve got 3 more devices. There’s my insulin pump, my Dexcom CGM and my glucose meter. All three of these things I could not live without. Two of them pretty much literally. All of these devices are generally within 5 feet (or less) of me at any given time. When something rings or vibrates around me, I don’t know which one to check first!
I was shopping in Target last week with Greg’s Mom. I started to feel a little strange so I stopped in a less busy aisle and tested. I don’t remember what number came up, I know I was low though. So I grabbed a juice box from my bag and started sucking away on it.
I looked up and realized these two older ladies were staring at me. I tend to get a little dopey and well down right rude when I am low. I don’t know if I was giving them the evil eye, or what. One of the ladies came over and said something to the effect of “are you a Diabetic?” I really can’t tell you exactly how I replied. I’m sure I was probably snotty though. She was very kind and soft spoken and asked if she could talk to me. Sure, why not. I was low. I didn’t know half of what was going on around me.
She took a deep breath and told me about her dead husband who died from complications of Diabetes. Immediately I thought, “OK, stop!!” I knew where this was going and I honestly had no patience for it in my current condition. Still I kept my mouth shut and just stared at her stupidly while she lectured me on why drinking juice was no good for me and how I should really see a “Diabetes Doctor” because they specialize in my condition.
Eventually I found my voice and explained that I was not a type 2 but a type 1. I told her that I was drinking juice because my sugar was low. I think I told her that while her attempts to educate me were well meaning, they were pointless. I thought I said it nicely. However judging from how she huffed and walked away, I guess I was wrong.
I would not have intentionally spoken rudely to an old lady. I was low though and some things you just don’t have control over when your sugar is out of range. In all honesty I think what she did was sweet. She was trying to do me a favor. She wasn’t nasty, she didn’t call me an idiot. I do think I insulted her and I feel bad about it. Simply because she is the first person to approach me in public who didn’t say rude, outlandish things to me. She was touched by the disease in the worst way possible, she watched a loved one die from it.
I wonder if she is as mad at her husband as I am at my grandmother? She was diagnosed with type 2 shortly after my diagnosis with type 1. She did nothing to change her life. She didn’t test, she didn’t exercise, she simply thought she was immune. By the time my grandmother died, she had lost her leg from a massive uncontrollable infection. I try to remember her whenever I even consider not fighting anymore.
It makes me wonder what my loved ones will say to people about my death? I will most likely lose my life to this disease. It won’t be because I didn’t try though.
Today’s guest post is from our friend and support group member, Lesley Hoffman 
Blood is red,
Diabetes makes me blue,
I need to change my site,
How ’bout you?
D – definitely makes me laugh sometimes
I – interesting side effects
A – always there, never goes away
B – big pain in the tush
E – everyone wants to check their blood “for fun” with my meter
T – terrible costs
E – everyone’s heard of it, no one really gets it
S – someday they’ll have a cure!
Roses are red,
My set inserter is blue,
104 is my favorite BS to have,
Too bad right now, it’s two twenty-two.
A Haiku:
I have a sweet tooth,
York peppermint pattys rock.
Thirty-four carbs, yay!
There once was a girl named Les,
In elementary school, she used to play chess.
She checks her blood a lot,
Around New York city, her strips you may spot,
About her level, she never gets stress.
(not)
THE END.
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