Missing Out (sorry, sort of whining)

I try very hard not to let Diabetes run and/or ruin my life. I try to eat right (when I can), to count my carbs, take all my meds and go to all my doctors regularly.

Sometimes it gets the upper hand though and it’s difficult not to get angry and just plain down in the dumps. Due to D and my complications I miss out on quite a lot. I can’t go camping any longer, I can’t hike, can’t even ride a bike. This upsets me, still I have learned to live with it.

On Saturday though, I got really mad and really depressed at D. I attended my cousin’s, son’s birthday party and my lows started. I spent two hours feeling like an animal. I had drank real lemonade, ate a bowl of berries, half a bowl of cheetos, two hamburgers a hot dog and 3 pieces of cake with ice cream. Needless to say I felt sick and downright nauseous. Unfortunately it’s necessary.

We were supposed to go to the city for my sister’s 30th Birthday party around 9pm. It just couldn’t happen. I wasn’t stable enough to stand in a bar for hours. Hell, I fell getting into the car.  This cut me to the quick. You need to understand that my sister is 7 years younger then me. I helped my Mom to raise her and my brother. I may always look at her as my “baby sister” but she has also become one of my best friends over the years. So not being able to go help her celebrate, really, really bothered me.

I cried like a baby that night. I also yelled and screamed (not in my big voice, mind you) at D and it’s complications. I just felt like it wasn’t fair. I missed last Christmas, my friend’s 40th Birthday, my sister’s birthday, Mother’s Day and countless plans with family, friends and my local D’s and ACT1 meetings.

So I think I have every right to say “F-You Diabetes”! And now that I have I can go back to living with and dealing with D. Thanks for understanding.