I have decided that I do not want to be a diabetic today. I do not want to test my sugar, I do not want to watch what I eat. I do not want to make sure I have enough juice boxes and assorted sugary substances around me at all times.
I do not want to carry around the extra 2 pounds in my purse that all my supplies account for. I do not want to have to stick myself 15 times in a day. I specifically do not want to stab my fingers before I can take a shower, drive a car, have sex and or all the other reasons I usually stab myself everyday.
Today if I have a headache, I want to assume it’s just that, a headache. I don’t want to worry that my sugar is going up. If I start shaking I want it to be because I am watching a scary movie. I do not want to listen to dumb people asking me, “can you eat that?” or telling me “Wow you must have it bad since you take shots”
I do not want to feel assured because I have all my doctor’s phone numbers programmed into my cell. I do not want to swallow 48 pills today to help with all my assorted complications that Diabetes has so generously shared with me.
I do not want a machine attached to me today. Today, I want to walk out of the house without anything but the clothes on my back. I want to run and jump and not be afraid. I want to take a long drive without stopping to do anything but to go to the bathroom. I want to be free of tape and infusion sets and needles.
I want to be like all the folks who never had to hear the words “you have Diabetes”. I just want to be free, even if just for today.
I hear ya! I was walking down the street today and thought, “Oh, I guess not too many other people consider close proximity to a hospital a necessity when looking to move.” I’d like to add that to the list of things I don’t want to have to think about in life…
And when diabetes is not annoying like that, the whole thing just seems monotonous and endless.
Watcha gonna do, I guess. Hang in there: Hugs.
Whoever wrote this has totally summed up how every type 1 feels at some point in there lives no matter have long they have had diabetes or how old they are. “Normal” People just dont get it. I am a type one Diabetic, and have been for 26 years since the age of 8, North east England, United Kingdom.
Yea, I feel that way sometimes, but like you, I do it those days for the ones who care about me
Great blog, Tina. You hit the nail on the head, writing about a feeling that most of us experience sometimes. Just had one recently where a few of those points went through my mind… Ah, to “freedom!”
So recognisable – what it would be like to just walk out of the house and not having to remember taking anything with you but your house keys…
AMEN SISTER!!!! It is important that for all the work we do to make the best of the big D we also acknowledge how crappy it can be – awesome post. And where can I get one of those hats?!
ME TOO!
I wish we could all get at least one day like that! Technically we could be we all know too well what the consequences could be. I hope you’re feeling better today!
One day would be so nice. So very, very nice.
Awesome blog! Couldn’t have said it better myself.
Actually…I wish I had less days like this.
That was wonderful information. You have done great work communicating your message. Keep up the good writing.
Oh, sweet Tina…. God, i think that way sooo very often. Soooooo glad you blogged about it. I will share this with some close people in my life that need to understand a little more. BIGG HUGG to you!!
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