Diabetes and Moms

Today I turned 37, so last night I took my mom out to dinner to thank her for my birthday. Most people focus on the things their parents did wrong while raising them. I look at my mom though and see all she sacrificed and all the things she tried so hard to give us. I was not raised in a rich home, not even in a middle class home. We were down right poor. My mom raised us alone because my dad walked out on us when I was 12. Probably the best thing he could have ever done for us. He had a drinking problem, still does, so he was no great loss.

My mom was not perfect. My goodness that woman has a set of lungs on her. I know because I was usually the one she was yelling at. She got mad over dumb things, she was impatient and overreacted big time. Still I wouldn’t trade my mother for any amount of gold or silver in the world.

All the things that I like about myself, I attribute to how my mom raised me. She taught me some very hard lessons over the years. I appreciate those the most. I remember coming home from school one day and asking my mom what the word “ni_ _ er” meant. It was the only time my mom ever put soap in my mouth. We spent a long time that day talking about segregation and slavery and how prejudice was the same as ignorance and how ignorance was not an excuse. As a result, I have never spoken that word or even spelled it out on paper.

I remember being able to ask my mom anything and getting an age appropriate honest answer for all my questions. My mom taught me to love learning, whatever the subject. She encouraged me to try new things and never to be embarrassed or to use where I came from as an excuse. She taught me to feel sympathy for people with addictions like my fathers instead of hating them. She taught me empathy and patience (OK I am still working on the patience part). Above all things she taught me the meaning of unconditional love.

I was too old when I was diagnosed with Diabetes for mom to help me learn about it. I was 21, I missed out on having someone doing it for me in the beginning. She however did not miss out on the worry and the guilt. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier on her if I was diagnosed earlier. Maybe if she had been in control of it for a period of time, she wouldn’t feel so helpless. I can’t imagine being told that your grown child may die. Then when she survives the tell you that she will have this disease forever. My mom did the coolest thing when I got sick-she stepped back. She allowed Greg to step in and for the two of us to be in control. It’s not she doesn’t try to understand it. It’s hard for her because she has so many health problems of her own. She has never really been around the day to day of my disease. One or both of us were always working, so she didn’t see it up close day in and day out. Greg was my “coworker” in my life with D. She respected our relationship enough to not step on his toes. I don’t think I ever thanked her for that.

Of course I am happy she was spared the sick young child with D. She had enough on her plate and it’s a horror I would wish on no one. So I thank God for my Mom and the person she raised me to be. I applaud her for trying to understand my disease. Just as I applaud all the moms who did and do have to do the ins and outs for their kids everyday with D. Being a mom is tough work, being a mom of a child with Diabetes is extreme though . Even when that child is diagnosed at 21. Thank you Mom! Not just for being you but for making me, me.