If there was a way to gauge how much stress diabetes has added to our lives, I would love to see it. In the same way we can get a measure of our blood sugar through our meter, I would love a machine that would tell me my stress value, although that would probably be counterproductive because it would stress me out even more!
Obviously, the pregnancy has added stress since I worry constantly about each and every blood sugar reading. And although my doctor and CDE are helping me try to figure out changes to my basal and bolus rates now that my insulin resistance is kicking into gear, their suggestions are also stressing me out because I can’t help thinking this is all my fault with how I’m eating. I always forget that it’s not my fault, but the fault of the disease. I recently went to the ob/gyn on Monday, and she mentioned the risk of intra-uterine death among babies of Type 1 diabetics who were not in good control. The next day, I pored over the internet reading about this and became extremely paranoid for the rest of the day.
As a PWD, I also worry about complications eventually catching up to me. I may not think about it everyday but it’s always in the back of my mind. I also worry about health insurance, and what would happen if I were to lose my job. I worry that my child may eventually get Type 1 as well and have to live this way. I know some of these issues are out of my control and I think that’s what’s so frustrating. I want to be in control of what occurs in my life and having diabetes takes a huge chunk of that away.
Ahhh yes, how crazy would it be too have a stressometer to work with the glucometer and insulin pumps…. We talked about taht in group on Tuesday… it’s such a conflicting message we type 1′s get about control. We’re supposed to be “in it” at all times, yet it’s so elusive and not always in our ability to be “in control.”
I can only imagine how magnified that is while being pregnant… I think it is one of those situations where google is NOT your friend! Hang in there, Gen, you continue to be an amazing PWD and mom-to-be, we’re here for you.
Yeah… stay away from search engines. Ask for facts from your docs… but don’t make it worse on yourself (I tend to do the same thing). I wonder what will happen to your insulin needs after you give birth… keep us posted! And when you start to stress, just think about the good health you are giving your baby, and how worth it that is!
Oh Gen, You have so much on your plate right now. I know it’s difficult to get D as a child, it’s just as hard as an adult though. We become adults and think life is heading one way and then D comes along and we get the rug pulled out from under us. Our whole lives change. The stress is unmeasureable. You should concentrate on what a beautiful job you are doing for the little one. I know it’s hard, you are not alone though. We are all here for you, anything you need, as many shoulders as you need, you have them. Don’t forget your stress reducing resources and don’t hesitate to use them (us)