With less than 12 weeks to go with the pregnancy, my endo and nutritionist really want to keep a close eye on my numbers. Everyday, I keep a log of my blood sugar before and after meals, how many carbs I eat per meal, and how much insulin I take. They have been very proactive in getting in contact with me to get these logs out to them. But I deal with shame everytime I send them my logs. While I don’t eat poorly, I do love carbs, and haven’t given up on eating bread and rice. I feel so guilty everytime I eat because I log it and there’s a record of that meal. Everytime I get a high reading after a carb laden meal, I know it’s my fault and beat myself up that I didn’t make the best choice. Sometimes, I think it’s also just the diabetes. I usually eat egg whites and two slices of whole wheat bread in the morning and no matter what, my sugar is always in the high 100s/low 200s. I want to change up my routine and eat more yogurt and protein but bread is the only thing that makes me feel full.
I try not to think that the endo and nutritionist are judging me for my choices. I know they just want to make sure that my basals are adjusted properly since the insulin resistance is kicking in much more now in the third trimester. Still, every meal is a battle and I’m always wondering what my numbers will be two hours later. I just want to make sure the baby is well and that I’m not doing any damage to her. So far, she seems to be doing fine. We went for a sonogram yesterday and the technician said she is measuring well at two pounds and twelve ounces. I guess we both just have to hang in for the next 11 weeks.
It’s amazing how diabetes/food decisions seem so much more real when you write them down, I think that’s a big part of my aversion to them. I hope you can realize how wonderfully you are caring for yourself and your baby, and I’m so glad that she’s doing well now. You can do this!!
I know logs suck, I give you so much credit for doing it. Carbs are the only thing that fill me also. I hope that they find a diet that works for you and your sugars. You really are a great Mommy and she is such a lucky little girl! Keep up the good work.
I know logs suck, I give you so much credit for doing it. Carbs are the only thing that fill me also. I hope that they find a diet that works for you and your sugars. You really are a great Mommy and she is such a lucky little girl! Keep up the good work Momma!
I am battling the very same demons. Try not to judge yourself so harshly. You and she are both going to be just fine. A friend recently told me: treat, and move on. I’m working on that myself, and you should too, Mama!