How I Wish I Could Answer

Saturday Greg and I went upstate to hang out with our favorite 3 and 7 year old. I have talked about Ryan and Eva before. They are very aware of my Diabetes and always want to “help”, always need to inspect that I am hooked up and never forget to remind me that I need to test my blood. They also love announcing my results to anyone that will listen.
This weekend was no different. While out at breakfast on Sunday Ryan turned very serious and yelled “uh oh, Aunt Tina! You didn’t test your blood!” I told him I tested in the car a few minutes ago (which I had). This however was not enough and I had to repeat the test again in front of him so that he would know I was OK.
My Gastroparesis was really bad on Sunday night, so I slept in this morning. It seemed like every half hour a little 3 year old was coming into my room to see if I needed juice and/or if I was going to test my blood? Some people might be annoyed. I can’t be though, these are two of the cutest kids ever and their concern for me is endearing. I love them with all of my heart. That’s why when Ryan turned to me this weekend and asked “Aunt Tina will I get Diabetes and have to check my blood all the time?”, it was like a Sucker Punch!
Oh how I wished I could have said “no, of course not!” That however, would be a lie. There is no way to know that he will not hit the shit lotto and that kills me. So I answered honestly. I said that I did not think so. However I could not be sure because no one knows why some people get Diabetes. Luckily, this was enough to satisfy him.
I would love a cure for those of us with Diabetes. I would love them to find a way to help no one else ever get it again, even more. That no one would ever have to hear the words “You have Type 1 Diabetes” again is a dream I hold onto. I hold onto it every time I test, every time I see a baby, every time I attend a JDRF Walk.
I have to stop writing now because I am crying too hard thinking about Ryan ever having to hear those words.