Sweet Sixteen

Today’s guest post is by our friend, Lesley Hoffman, fellow type 1 and ACT1 support group member.

On Monday, I will have had Diabetes for 16 years. Its so hard for me to comprehend that and to think about each and every one of those FIVE THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED FORTY FOUR DAYS with Diabetes.

Whenever I look at the positive side to Diabetes, I also like to allow myself to acknowledge the negative. On a bad day, Diabetes has the power to ruin my day. A series of bad blood sugars, poor test results from the doctor or an infected pump site can and will make me so upset. I was able to reverse the neurological side effects I experienced a few years ago by losing weight, exercising and eating better. But, I constantly worry. I worry that the slight and very occasional tingling in my feet will cause my feet to be amputated. I worry that a few very high blood sugars will one day cause my kidneys to fail. And worst of all, I worry about whether I’ll be able to have kids.

On a good day, Diabetes inspires me. It helps me believe in myself – I have had this disease for SIXTEEN YEARS. That is a LONG time. I feel great, I exercise everyday, My A1C is at 6.8 %, I have two Bachelors Degrees, one Masters degree and I am the principal of an afternoon religious school. I am engaged and getting married in October and I am very close with my family and friends. I have employed the “pick your battles” theory with my Diabetes. I just can’t let myself get upset about the little things. I have to push myself and force myself to see the good in everything, to somehow view problems I face as a means of making me stronger and braver.

I feel brave and I feel strong. I love teaching people about Diabetes. I love taking my many pills in the morning because even though its kind of annoying, I imagine them entering my system and “reporting to duty,” knowing exactly where they go, what they help and how they help me. I like the challenge of finding new real estate on my body to change my site. I like telling people that I don’t really drink because I have this thing called Diabetes, and its better if I just stay away from alcohol all together. I like that I’m in touch with my body and that I can often predict what my blood sugar is.

So – Happy Sweet Sixteen to my Diabetes!  It can now legally drive in most states so I guess now it officially has a license to drive me crazy. It can now get its own job which I encourage it to do in order to pay for its supplies. It can legally have sex, whatever that means for Diabetes. And, it can apply for its own passport. I kind of wish it would so it could get the hell out of  my body and travel to someone else’s body.

But I think its here to stay. Which is fine. We get along quite nicely and have worked out a good agreement in terms of space, time, furniture etc. I promised it that I would check my blood sugar, exercise, eat well, keep my A1C low and take my medicine if it promises to keep a low profile, respond to my diligence, give me a chuckle once in awhile, allow me to have children and to live until at least 90. Once I hit 90, I think I’ll probably be bored.