An Anvil For Christmas

Three days before Christmas my sugars started rising for no fault of my own. I checked my pump site, changed my site, changed my insulin bottle and took shots. Nothing helped. So I came to terms with the fact that it was probably my antibodies and there was nothing I could do about it.

Greg’s mom has about 40 people at the house Christmas Eve every year. Greg and I always help decorate, shop, clean and I also bake. This year was no different. Still, it should have been. I pushed myself to the point of almost collapsing. Every time I went up and down the stairs I felt like my chest was going to explode. Of course, this made sense since my sugars were over 400.

Christmas Eve came and went without incident. Everyone had a grand time and I was able to pretend to most people that I was OK. Around 2am Christmas morning I woke Greg up as I was flailing around in my sleep. This began the lows that would last till 6am the following day. I am used to this situation. It has been happening for almost 3 years. I normally go to bed and keep juice boxes, fruit chews, cookies and glucagons at the ready. I set my alarm to wake me up every forty-five minutes to test. I have become a pro at this.

This was Christmas though. We were supposed to go my mother’s and have a special breakfast with my sister and brother. Then later my cousins and friends were coming for dinner. I was so excited to give everyone their presents and to have a relaxing, fun day. This antibody crap was just not part of the plan. Still, I had no choice. They are stronger than me. I had to give in and take to my bed. It made me cross and ill tempered. I remained in bed until about eleven o’clock Sunday night. Normally after my sugars straighten out I need about a day to feel better.

I guess I have to face that I pushed myself too hard this time. No matter if it’s a regular day or a holiday I need to put my health first. I am stubborn and it takes a anvil over the head sometimes to convince me that I don’t have to take care of everything myself. I just hate letting anyone down. So, I guess I put me last. I think I need to stop doing that. I need to come first, or my health, at least, sometimes.