A Complicated Relationship

As a Diabetic, especially as a Type 1 Diabetic, testing my BG is an integral part of my daily life. The number displayed depends on many factors. The numbers also dictates much of my activity throughout the day.
Every Type 1 has their favorite meter. I personally love my One Touch Ultra Link. However I have to use the Accu Check Multi Clix Lancer. As a diabetic I have become accustomed to finding used test strips in the strangest places. I am excited, no thrilled that they are putting 50 test strips in a vial now instead of 25. I use terms like Pre Meal and Post Prandial. It’s just part of being a Diabetic.
I have an intimate love/hate relationship with my glucometer. I despise that I have to use it at all. I abhor it when it gives me a number that is too high or low. Still, I feel such adoration towards it when my numbers are good. I know it is not that meter I should love or hate. Still, I find that I feel closer to this inanimate object than I do most people.
Being a part of the diabetic online community for some years now, I have heard some wild stories about testing. There is a woman who claimed she didn’t need to test. She insisted she knew her body so well, that she could guess within 5 points of the reading at any given time. Of course I never met her, so I never had the opportunity to test this claim. I also wondered if she wasn’t testing, how did she know that she was always right?
I remember a gentleman who insisted on testing at least every half hour, for fear that his sugar might go over 250 and he would die a horrible slow death from complications. OK, I realize that it is better to test more frequently. Still every half hour? This poor guy was lucky he didn’t need a transfusion after a week. Also, I remember being him. They scared me so much about testing when I was diagnosed that I tested if I so much as sneezed for fear I might go into DKA. My obsession just didn’t last as long as his.
I recall when I was a waitress many years ago, sometimes “not having time” to test. How silly that sounds to me now. How could I ignore something so vital to my health? Simple, because jobs like that do not lend themselves to being proactive about your Diabetes. Testing must take a step back to the customers well being. The test used to take 45 seconds to get the result and that was just “too long.“ That’s why I am always patient when my waitress or waiter is out of sight for a few minutes. When I was a Pastry Cook in one restaurant, my boss used to get aggravated that I tested every two hours. She felt I was just wasting time. I felt she was just an ignorant ass.
I love going out with my Diabetic friends because not only are we patient when it’s time to test, we encourage each other to take the time to test. I am sure we have all been in the situation where you have to tell people “sorry I need a minute to test my sugar”. Then they have a million questions as to why, or they get impatient. Or you just feel like the oddball, especially when not everyone knows you are diabetic and you watch the light bulb moment when they peg you with the title “Diabetic”. I personally do not mind the title, still it can be awkward.
Having antibodies I do test quite often. Sometimes I find myself staring at my meter, willing it to implode. It is very silly since testing now takes under 10 seconds from start to finish and does not hurt. Still, I hate that I have to test. Knowing that if I don’t, I can’t take a walk, get in the shower, drive, have a snack, make love, or even go to sleep. How many things do Non-Diabetics take for granted?
We need to test to live. While it does suck, we are so very lucky the technology is out there. Years ago, there was the whole pee on the stick, years before, peeing in the cup, and before that? Well, you just had to guess. Of course years ago there was no sliding scale of insulin or carb counting either. So, while I admit I hate testing, I am appreciative that the technology is there and that it has come so far. I also am not willing at this ripe old wizened age, to not take advantage of it.
So after reading this I hope you take your meter out and give it a little love by feeding it your blood. After all, it asks for so little of it these days.