This blog is a result of free writing. So forgive me if I jump all over and did not worry very much about grammar or punctuation. I just needed to get some things clear in my head that I thought I might share with you.
When I tell people I have Diabetes I always make sure I specify that I have Type 1. Some people seem clueless that there is a difference, others hear me and I see them look me over. I know they are looking at my extra weight.
Does this hurt? Hell yes. It is also very frustrating. I can’t explain that I have gained a hundred pounds in the last three years to everyone I meet. I can’t explain that I was on steroids for a year. That I have antibodies and sometimes eat about 4,000 calories a day just to stay out of the hospital. I also can’t explain that I am a woman and an emotional eater.
I haven’t been “skinny” since I was diagnosed with diabetes. Before that, I haven’t been tiny since childhood. Still, I was never “fat”, which is what I am now.
Unless you are heavy, you do not realize how very different life is with the extra weight. My life has changed tremendously since I put the weight on. I hate trying on clothes, as I like nothing on me. Some things are just more tolerable than others. I hate leaving the house as I think everyone is looking at me and wondering how I could let myself get this way. I don’t like meeting people because I wish I could hand them a pamphlet explaining my weight gain. That way they could read it before talking to me so they might like me better.
When you are heavy everything changes. From my choice of events to attend to my sex life. I have been heavy for three years now and I still surprised whenever I see myself in the mirror. I am so happy that I have a devoted loving boyfriend because there is no way I could get one with how I look now.
Ok so all this being said, I have finally gotten the go ahead to begin exercising from my doctors. The question is, where do I start? I definitely don’t have the energy to jump right in. I can’t even walk across a parking lot without getting winded. Going upstairs makes me feel like my heart will explode. So any advice anyone has would be greatly appreciated.
Of course losing weight is hard for anyone. For a diabetic it is even harder. Between having to test before during and after exercise, eating when you are low and crunching all the numbers together to see if you even can exercise at that time, it’s really a lot of work. Still, I have to start, because I cannot live with myself anymore.
So, wish me luck. I am hoping to start the rest of my life some time this week.
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The Rest of My Life Begins This Week9 comments to The Rest of My Life Begins This Week |
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YOU CAN DO IT! I am overweight too… and recently lost 45 pounds. (I still have over 80 pounds to lose… and went through 3 years where I gained about 100 pounds too, so I totally feel you.) I started by counting my calories and walking 3-4 days a week (a short and FLAT walk – about a mile…but the flat thing really helps). Yes, you have to test even more, and eat if you go low. Not sure if you are on injections or the pump, but being on the pump make exercise WAY easier.
I think the best advice I can give you is this: set short term goals. Do it in a healthy manner, and take each day at a time. If you mess up, forgive yourself and move on. YOU CAN DO IT! And congrats on deciding you are ready to change. That is the first step! =) I write a lot about getting healthy while dealing with T1 in my blog – http://www.katieshealthjourney.blogspot.com/
Hopefully you can find some movivational/inspirational stuff on there.
First of all I want to say that you are so amazingly beautiful, Tina, not just inside but also outside. I’m NOT just saying that. It’s so hard to see the positive things about our looks when we’re so focused on what we think of as negatives–we ALL have those things about our bodies or faces that we hate–but I know if you asked anyone who knows you, they’d be able to list tens of beautiful things about you that you’re probably not even seeing. Seriously, when I met you IRL (I’d seen pics, but obviously had never met you), my first thought was how cute you were. Don’t worry about how you look to other people, because seriously, anyone who can’t see how cute you are just isn’t worth associating with. The main reason to lose weight is to make you as healthy as you can be.
As far as exercising, I’d suggest walking. It’s really one of the best exercises to start with…Even if you can’t do more than five minutes at first, just walk for five minutes and then rest. As you get stronger you can increase the time slowly, walking until you’re out of breath but not so desperately out of breath that you feel like you’re fighting for air. You could also try arm and leg lifts to strengthen your muscles, but aerobically, walking’s probably your best bet.
Exercising isn’t fun, for sure, but the way I feel knowing I’ve done it makes it so worth it. If I’m committed, and exercise every day, I’ll make a point to treat myself somehow, buying a book or blueberries out of season, or something pretty, or even just taking a bubble bath. It’s silly, but it works to motivate me.
Good luck, Tina. I know you’ll do so well! (hug)
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Tina, I haven’t been in your situation but I understand the feeling of not being happy with how you look. It’s not easy. But like EJ said, you ARE beautiful whether you think so or not! And you have been through hell & back I don’t know how many times. So any bit of exercise is going to be great for you. Start little & don’t push yourself too much. Walking is probably the easiest but since it’s getting colder outside, maybe use the stairs a little bit. It sounds silly but they can sure get the heart pupming! You have so many people behind you all the way
I went through the same thing. I hated telling people that I was diabetic. The automatically assumed I was type 2. I had gastric bypass 3 1/2 years ago and lost almost 150lbs was the best thing I ever did.
Very inspiring post Tina! Taking it slow definitely helps. I have no doubt you can do it because I can know how committed you are to this.
Tina you are a sexy woman!
You can do it! And just take it one day at time darling
Congrats on taking this first major step this week! We’re all here for you, and we know how determined you are, so I think that’s a recipe for success. And I agree with everyone else, you already ARE beautiful but this will be great for you to be happier and healthier.
Tina-
I wish I lived close to you, I would run to your house and give you a big hug! You are moving in the right direction. If you need a cheerleader I’m here for you! 1 day at a time. I know you can do it.