Post by Tina – read her bio here!
I just read this to Greg and he said “you sound like a douche”. Oh well, I am fighting lows and this how I am feeling. So if I do sound “douchy” forgive me.
Last night I was at a party discussing the upcoming JDRF walk. This led to a conversation about disabilities and I found myself on the defensive. Everyone started talking about the “kids”. So of course I had to explain that Type 1 does not only effect children. Don’t get me wrong, I feel much worse for a child having this disease than I do for myself. Still, it sucks for adults too.
Then today Greg’s mom was talking about her new hip and her old hip that needs replacing. We got into a conversation about pain. I know Greg’s mom loves me and she knows that my Fibromyalgia is a real condition. Sometimes though, I just don’t think she gets it. I think she thinks I am just weak. She always tells me how she doesn’t allow her pain to stop her. So, does that mean I do?
Last week was Invisible Disability Week. Maybe that’s why I have been feeling so defensive about my multiple conditions and diseases lately. It just seems that I have been finding myself angry at others for how they treat people with an Invisible Disability like namby pampy whiners. Sometimes I just get so angry when people think that because I am not missing a limb I am not really sick. I can’t help that I don’t look sick enough for you. I can’t help that you feel the need to compare my disabilities to others. The only thing I can do is worry about me.
Tina I think that is the main problem with invisible illnesses .. people don't really see what is being endured so they assume the person is perfectly fine. You don't sound like a douche (sorry Greg!) you just sound frustrated. And to me that frustration is warranted. I hope you feel less frustrated today!!
My guess (and I hope nobody takes this the wrong way) is that Greg's mother is secretly envious that you're so young, and because she can't see how much you struggle every day, she takes it out on you for voicing your struggle. And I don't think you need to make excuses at all for this post. Everyone who has some sense what you've been going through understands where you're coming from, and why this would upset you.
I'm sure Greg understands it as well, although it might be hard for him seeing his mother called out for not understanding. I hope it helps you to know that you have so many people around you who think it's just amazing that you've managed to function as well as you have, in spite of everything, coping without losing your strength and your perseverance and your good-naturedness!
Tina-
I am sorry your mother in law makes you feel that way! You don’t sound like a douche and I would feel the same way if I were you. Keep venting! Let it all it.
I have the same fear, that people will think I'm weak. I know I need to get over it because what matters is how I view myself. At the end of the day you are right, the only thing you can do is worry about yourself. (Your title made me laugh btw.)
TIna, agreed with everyone above. You are anything but weak! We all know that about you. Those comparisons are so useless and frustrating. And you every right to be angry about them!